I am not a human

film, 5:30 minutes, 2018

In November 2018, a vibrant conversation with a fellow artist initiated a unique art project in the form of a video-letter correspondence. Following this interaction, we set up a mutual framework of tasks, using filmmaking processes to document our process. Our common goal was to depict and investigate our differing points of view on a dialectic: Life and Death. The outcome of our correspondence was rendered into two separate films. One film for life and one for death, each individually created by a different artist. Each film’s content was subdivided into five chapters, or ‘video-letters’.

My task was the film on death and the five different aspects I chose for my video-letters explored the ambiguous duality of the life-death schema:

-The ‘corporeal engagement’ in time’s swift passage as an analogy for the notion of existence itself.

-The blurry margins of the life-death duality.

-Death as an interrelated persistence of the memory of life itself.

– Understanding death as a potentially positive force.

– The everchanging character of death; the role of catharsis in the context of pain, both mentally and physically.

 Chapter 5/5:

“I am not a human, this is just a dream, and soon I will awake.”

                               Per Yngve Ohlin (16 January 1969 – 8 April 1991)

For my last chapter, I searched for examples of death’s redeeming aspects, based on a review of random suicide notes. There are many reasons that people who have contemplated or committed suicide chose to leave a note behind. These farewell letters often express thoughts and feelings as an attempt to ease the pain of those left behind, those known to the victim.  In addition, these final statements often aim to dissipate guilt and set out the reason(s) for suicide.  Numerous final word statements describe death as cathartic and attempt to justify the painful escape from an “earthly prison”. I was interested in captivating and transmitting the ambiguous concepts of these notes in image and sound. The moving images in this chapter are embellished imprints of death, determined by the urge of those who wanted to show their love for others in the moment when they had no love for themselves.

 

P.S  “I will not kill myself. As long as someone smiles at me today.”

 

looped excerpt from film, 2018

 

 

 

I am not a Human, film stills, 2018

I am not a Human, film stills, 2018

I am not a Human, film stills, 2018

I am not a Human, film preview, 2018

Music by Savvas Karatzias